Helllllo fellow Internet users! This girl missed her connection home from Florida, granting her an abundance of time to update you on my latest adventures whilst kicking back in Delta ‘ s Sky Lounge for the next 6 and a half hours.

I haven’t blogged in quite some time, which is good in some perspectives. Typically, I blog when life is getting difficult, and I need somewhere to exploit my feelings. But I’ve been getting better. Even my therapist thinks so. Choosing to be happy is easy when you take school, work, and any other adulty obligations out of the equation of life.

I spent this past week cruising the carribean with my family on Disney’s Fantasy cruise ship. Happy Christmas to us! Cruising is fun especially when you have access to Dramamine and there’s employees just waiting behind a counter to pile your plate high with watermelon, pineapple, pizza, and mini chicken wraps. Also, there are soft-serve ice cream machines that are operational and poolside from 11 AM to 11 PM. Half a day of access to instant, lactose-y happiness.

Hunger does not exist on cruise ships, because after a day of busily lazing in the Carribean sun in a bikini, leisurely sipping down Lemonade Lite (gotta watch that figure) you are whisked away to a beautifully set table in an extravagant venue where your own personal wait staff seats you, places your napkin on your lap, and brings you a four-course meal and two desserts. The food stops flowing at 10:00, leaving just enough time to climb all the way to the top deck of the ship for one last ice cream cone.

This method of vacationing, my dear friends, is a post-anorexic’s nightmare. But rest assured, it didn’t stop me from scarfing down at least twice as many calories as my previously petite body requires for optimal function. Technically, I’m still on vacation, so my weight-gain anxiety probably won’t set in until about this time tomorrow when I’m angrily attempting to put on non-stretchy pants.

We had some glorious stops, though, on our voyage around the Carribean islands. We stopped first on a dual-owned island called St. Martin’s. (Half French, half Dutch) where we swam with Dolphins, or Darlings of the Ocean, as I affectionately refer to them. I made two young friends that day, Paris and Gaya, who were four and seven years old respectively. These two sea mammals allowed me to cling to their pectoral fins as they dragged me around their aquatic home. It was magical.

We also made a stop in Puerto Rico, where a team of gorgeous Puerto Rican men assisted us in ziplining through their exotic forest. I assured them I’d be back soon.

Our final stop before returning back to the motherland was at Disney’s own private island: Castaway Cay. This was my least favorite of the stops, as their island was not nearly as beautiful as either of our previous stops. I did, however, engage in some pretty unique activities. We kicked off the day by taking a lap around the cay on beach cruisers. Then, we were granted the opportunity to hand-feed a bunch of sting rays who had had their stingers forcefully removed. (Shall we simply call them rays now that their stingers are missing?) The day concluded with a parasailing adventure. I did not previously know what parasailing entailed until I was strapped to the parachute and gracefully gliding above the boat that had taken me out to the middle of the sea. Naturally, I sang the entire ballad of A Whole New World from Disney’s Aladdin whilst airborne.

All in all, it was a killer time, and also made me extremely grateful for my room back home where I have a bed to myself and can dress without constantly covering myself with a towel for fear of an unwelcome gaze of a roommate. Also, it’s time for this girl to hit the gym. Hard.

On a lighter note, Christmas is around the corner and I have not even begun my holiday shopping. If any of y’all have any sort of expertise in this area, please hit me up.

Party on, Wayne.