My friend and I were reminiscing on acquaintances from high school yesterday, and naturally, our conversation morphed into a bash-fest of people we loathed. My friend brought up a girl that we’d been mutual friends with, but my friend’s relationship with this girl turned sour due to the girl’s blunt honesty and disregard for others’ reception of her verbalized opinions. I am still on good terms with this girl, despite my friend’s animosity toward her.
My friend began listing out the qualities about this girl that caused the termination of their friendship. Her list started out with the girl’s character traits, but, as any gossiping female would, her list ended with insults on the girl’s physique. (Her “weird-shaped” head, of all things, which is completely unalterable, and quite frankly one of the most comedically pathetic insults I could possibly think of.)
I told my friend that regardless of her opinion, I still liked the girl, and told her to be nice. (BLEH, she says.) Before I continue any further, I just want to acknowledge that I know that I am more than guilty of saying bitchy things behind girls’ backs, and I, too, have made fun of girls for their physical appearances, even though, hypocritically, I believe that the way a person looks has absolutely nothing to do with their value and like-ability.
I’m a hypocrite, yes.
Again, i’m only human, and I am only using this story to make a point.
As with most things, I gave this conversation way more thought than normal humans do, and I noticed that this similar situation happens frequently among the ladyverse.
When we’re blabbing away to our girlfriends about other girls that we can’t stand, why is it that we feel a need to not only insult their “hamartia”, but, while we’re at it, attack their physique, weight, hair, boobs, etc.?
“Ugh she is such a fat, ugly b*tch.”
“That slut’s nose is as big as jupiter.”
Why does calling a girl a brat or a jerk or stupid not satisfy our tongues? Why do we feel the need to include the fact that she’s an UGLY brat or a FAT jerk?
I’d be willing to bet that the majority of us females, myself included, would rather be called a brat than be called ugly or fat. Because hey, I may be a sucky person with a drag of a personality, but at least I’m pretty and that’s all that matters.
I’m right, aren’t I?
Most of us would never admit this out loud, but the sting of being called “ugly” lasts way longer and affects us way worse than being called “stupid” or bratty.
Beauty takes the cake in the way we want others to think of us.
I know that people will continue to bad-mouth other people to their friends, but it’s possible to hate someone without ridiculing their physical appearances.
That’s your food for thought on this fine Thursday.
M.
Down With The Norm 
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If girls are taught from a young age to value themselves for who they are rather than what they look like, I think a majority of the cattiness would be eliminated just like that because they’d learn to value others for the right reasons rather than being superficial as well. Best of luck to you and your little girl!(:
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I agree! I think we’re all becoming just a bit too superficial.
I gotta tell you, I have a little girl that just started kindergarten. I think back to high school and how awful it was. I’m just hoping I can build her up high enough that the trauma of cattiness doesn’t bring her down to her knees.
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It just goes to show how much we value outer appearances. We think the most hurtful thing we can call someone we dislike is ‘ugly’ and that’s just sad because there’s a zillion other things that are worse than being ugly, yet that one seems to leave the greatest sting.
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I am SO guilty of doing this, too. I think that viewing someone as “ugly” is not just a matter of their actual physical appearance, but of how their sucky personality alters our image of them. If you’re ugly inside, it makes you ugly outside. That being said: we’ve GOT to stop criticizing other’s appearances. A lot of physical traits can’t be changed, and we shouldn’t bash them for that. However, their crappy tude can be changed, so that is totally open for judgement 😛
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