I’ve been doing some over-thinking again.
Y’know, i’d be willing to bet that one of the main contributing factors to the modern woman’s demolished self-esteem is the paradox that self-adoration is wholly frowned upon.
When we give compliments, we practically expect the receiver of said adulation to refute our kind words.
When you say, “oh my goodness, Sally, that dress looks stunning on you!”, which response from Sally is most acceptable?
a) “Ew, oh my goodness you think? I think it looks like a sausage casing!”
b) “Oh please, you look better, though!”
c) “Really? I was just considering going on a diet.”
d) “Why, thank you! I quite like it, as well.”
Realistically, if Sally were to answer d), we would assume that Sally is a conceited, stuck-up snob.
Why is it so unacceptable to like parts of ourselves? Why is it such a crime to verbally agree with someone who has paid us a compliment?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I am a hypocrite. Whenever I am paid a compliment, especially on my appearance, I automatically completely disagree, both mentally and verbally. It’s what i’m supposed to do, right?
Except for when I don’t. Believe it or not, I get an occasional comment of recognition from others in regards to my sense of humor. And you know what my response is every time someone tells me that they think i’m funny? A sincere “Thank you,” and an acknowledgement that I agree with their opinion that I am a notably comical young lady.That’s one thing i’ve decided I like about myself, and I appreciate anyone who concurs. Does this make me conceited? Snobby? Self-centered? If so, I want to be the most conceited, snobby, self-centered brat there is.
What i’m trying to get at here, is that it is absolutely more than okay to like yourself, granted that it’s virtually impossible to like yourself in its entirety, due to our toxic media and societal pressures to be discontent and self-hating.
It is possible to be humble while liking your own traits. No need to go parading yourself around, but I don’t believe that giving yourself a couple of put-ups will do your psyche any harm. It’ll be a refreshing change from that radiating stream of negativity that goes through a lot of our heads on a constant basis.
I think that if liking ourselves weren’t such a taboo, we’d be able to avoid all sorts of problems like eating disorders, guilt, jealousy, what ever else ails you.
The way I see it, i’m the only me I’m ever gonna get, so i’d better learn to start liking it, or it’s gonna be one long, self-loathing themed life.
Easier said than done.
But, like most things, it’s a work in progress.
Down with the societal encouragement of hating ourselves.
4 thoughts on “Pretension”
That’s a good point, you have to truly like yourself before you can even accept a compliment. If liking ourselves were more acceptable, we’d be a lot less hesitant to do so, and a lot happier. Thank you so much for your thoughts!(:
Reblogged this on Feminist Fatale and commented:
I love this…it’s so accurate. It’s almost as if we’re taught to put ourselves down to “fish” for compliments as well. It’s like society is saying “Be confident, but don’t you dare say you like something about yourself.” I definitely had to learn to love myself before I was able to accept, or at least appreciate, compliments from others.
Exactly! I want to see women practice saying “thank you” to compliments rather than rejecting them. Confidence should not require an apology. I’ve never heard a man undermine a compliment with a negative comment about himself, so why do we?