The beautiful thing about stereotypes is that they are never 100% true. A good example of this is the stereotype of the girl who never shuts up.
Lately, i’ve been socializing with various boys (boys? men? What is the proper terminology for males between the ages of 19 and 22?) and I have found the opposite of the “Chatty Kathy” stereotype to be true.
I don’t believe that gender has an influence on how talkative or reserved an individual is.
I’ve had a ton of fun hanging out with dudes and doing date activities and things, but sometimes I feel like I rarely get the opportunity to contribute relevant comments to a topic of conversation. People like to talk about themselves. It’s what they know best.
I like listening to others talk about things-things that happen to them, things they’re passionate about, things they hate, and I am an exceptional listener. Other peoples’ lives fascinate me, especially when they’re lives are more exciting than my own. (Which is typically the case.)
But sometimes, a fellow will be narrating a personal anecdote that sparks some kind of comment that I just HAVE to make, but it seems as though when these instances happen, the person i’m talking to suddenly learns how to speak without commas and without breathing, thus robbing me of any chance of interjecting my comment.
At this point in the conversation, I have already started verbalizing my thought, softly, though, as to not rudely interrupt, but my voice goes unheard by the speaker, and he continues on with his story.
As the conversation carries on, the speaker eventually leaves the topic of which I would really like to comment on, and begins talking about something else. At this point, I’ve almost stopped listening, because I’m trying to come up with a way to bring us both back to the topic of which I wanted to comment on, but to no avail.
Eventually, I give up, and the only comments I make are the occasional “right,” and “yeah,” and “I know what you mean,” to ensure the speaker that I have not ceased listening.
As I mentioned earlier, I love hearing people talk. And some people, once you get them going, they never stop. They plow through a plethora of topics, challenging my brain to keep up.
I guess what i’m saying is lately I feel like a lot of the conversations I engage in are practically one-sided. Which is fine, because typically I don’t have a whole lot to say, myself, but when I do, I wanna say it gosh darn it.
I wish there were a polite way to say “SHUT THE EFF UP I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.” Perhaps I will try throwing hard candies at peoples’ mouths when I feel that it’s my turn for the talking stick. I will report back with results on this method of interrupting someone.
14 thoughts on “Garrulous”
many young guys are self obsessed/ ‘focused’ and don’t mean to ignore females, just can’t include in their scope unless its for you know/…. in saying that there are a lot of lovely open minded, conscious guys who can hold great convos.. sometimes their actions speak differently, sometimes they don’t.
Just abide by it you’ll thank me later.
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Those are some wise words. Easier said than done, however
Ill give you a guide as a 36 year old male. Dont worry about guys your age unless youre looking to get laid. Dont latch onto one unless your in love and on the same page meaning you’ve talked about the future and you both have your future goals worked out and in agreement.
I feel ya
Its not just this evening.
Your problem-solving skills are sub-par this evening. :p
Well then I’d quit hanging out with 19-22 year old guys.
the point is I want the same opportunity to talk about nothing important.
Well the seminar would say that at 19-22 neither dudes nor chicks have much important to say, just enjoy being young and free.
Well it’d be lovely if y’all could teach a seminar to current 19-22 year old dudes so they done have to regret it later, too.
Well I’ve been a boy between the age of 19 and 22 and dont be discouraged, not only do we have nothing important to say at that age, but we all regret not listening more to the women in our company.
I know exactly how you feel! I practically have a superpower of going unheard in the middle of a group conversation. Sometimes there’ll be a gap in the conversation, I’ll say something in the silence, and people still won’t hear me.
I have no idea what I’m doing wrong =\
Oh my god, so many people are like that. I am sometimes one, though I try really hard to listen to others. It’s probably because one of their parents never taught them to listen, and they think it’s normal to take up all the conversation. Just be more forceful. Chances are they won’t care if you interrupt. 🙂